One question that has crossed my mind was Karen's level of commitment to getting cured in 1982. My conjecture is that she knew she had some kind of problem and wanted to fix it to make her family happy but was persistently stubborn about being honest about the reasons for the disease. I don't think this was her fault but an attitude adopted by what her mother and brother led her to think. I believe her family had convinced her that anorexia wasn't a real disease and that she was simply stubborn. I think this did permanent damage to her ability to actually recover. You hear this in interviews of Agnes after Karen's death where she only focuses on Karen not eating. The problem was not about eating. Her problem was about self-worth in the eyes of her brother and mother.
Karen's problems with her self-image and self-worth were very serious. She couldn't let go of the submissive role she had in her family. Her mother is her mother so she must be right. She worshipped Richard so he must be right. I think she adopted their position that her problem was some silly thing she needed to snap herself out of. But it wasn't a silly thing.
So off she goes to New York seeking an antidote to magically make the problem go away. Steven Levenkron wasn't successful in getting her to realize that her family was plain wrong. Someone needed to get it into Karen that she had a mind of her own and her decisions and her needs and wants were 100% valid. I think Levenkron could have cut to the chase and got her to understand this. But instead, they probably went through endless exploratory sessions while Karen continued to put herself on a path of destruction with unhealthy behaviors.
The only person I think who probably came close to setting her straight was Phil Ramone who tried to take her into a diferent direction with her career. But at the end of day, Karen was a slave to her family (not the mirror as people often think with regards to anorexics). I wish Phil told her to f*** her family. She could love them but they are wrong. I wish Harold had more courage to stand up to his wife. It's clear that Agnes dominated everyone and was masking her own unhappiness.
At the end of day, Karen went to New York with an attitude to get some weight on and return back to her family where they were all waiting for her to resume their vision for her life. Intravenous feeding was the perfect solution for achieving that. She got the weight back on which equated to a cure to her mother. She didn't actually have to learn to believe in herself to stand up to her family.
I do think Karen wanted to stop the hell she was in. She was committed to fixing what was wrong but was completely misguided by her family on what to do to get better. If they had gotten off their high horse about controlling Karen to fit their needs, had shown her love and support, not make her think her disease was selfish, that Karen was stubborn ... if they had *supported* her and loved her in the all the normal ways love should be expressed, I have no doubt that she'd be alive today.
As I reflect on this, I realize this post contradicts a little my post defending Agnes. But at the end of the day, Karen needed to get the courage to overcome her mother's beliefs. As I've said before, there are lots of people who don't know what's best for us. Many of us have family members who may love us but are wrong. Growing up is about realizing you can love someone but not agree with them. It's too bad Karen couldn't get to this point.
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