I have mixed feelings about Steven Levenkron, Karen's therapist who treated Karen in 1982. In his defense, Karen was persistent in being treated her way. She wouldn't do an inpatient program. She didn't take the recommendation of Cherry Boone O'Neil who had proven success with a Dr. (an actual doctor not just a therapist) who was on the west coast. She had this idea that she could speed up her recovery by going 5 times a week for therapy. I don't know that Karen was truly committed to recovery. It seemed she wanted a quick fix so she could proclaim herself cured and having gone through some effort and then go back to regular life. So Levenkron had his work cut out for him. He couldn't exercise any kind of direction because Karen was used to getting her way. Perhaps her expectation as a star.
What bothered me about Levenkron was his proclamation in a 1993 Current Affair interview that Karen was cured of her anorexic behaviors with the implication that he cured her. This is completely false. She was most certainly not cured. She was force fed and never learned how to nourish herself. Also he knows that he never really helped her resolve her issues. Karen went to the hospital when she physically couldn't survive anymore and interestingly checked herself out of the hospital when he was out of town. The she went back to California and started abusing ipecac. He knew all this and still declares her cured!
I also question his motives in publicizing his treatment of Karen. His meetings with her should have been kept confidential. It seems to me that he was seeking more publicity through the association with Karen in addition to his book and movie deals.
Karen 1
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Karen in 1983
Karen seemed to always put on a happy and brave face despite the obvious sadness she felt in her life. Dionne Warwick and others seem to imply in comments that everything was back on track for Karen. But I think she must have been very scared about what was ahead of her.
First off, despite the weight gain in the hospital, she must have been terrified of the prospect of gaining any more. Richard has commented that she still picked at her food. There is also the evidence that she was abusing ipecac. So weight gain must have been on her mind. She had the pressure to convey that she was cured but was desperately afraid of gaining weight. If she was eating normally, using ipecac, and still maintaining her 108 weight, I wonder if her metabolism had slowed down requiring the ipecac to stay steady.
She also desperately wanted children. But she was still married (almost divorced) and would have to start the whole process over again of finding a partner. All of her friends were married or in relationships and having children, she must felt anxiety to move forward as well. Today being 32 and unmarried is so common. But back in 1983, there was still a stigma around it. I recall the Mary Tyler Moore show, a #1 hit of the 1970's, was based on the storyline of a women being 30 and god forbid, unmarried. It wasn't that common back then. She had felt that pressure before to get married and have kids and made the unfortunate choice of Tom Burris. So I can't imagine 2 years after her first marriage, for the pressure to have lessened. It must have been on her mind.
Finally, there were career pressures. The Carpenters were not able to score a top 10 hit for 8 years. Nothing seemed to be sticking. This also must have been on her mind. She was ambitious and not the type to sit back and relish past successes.
In retrospect, none of the above was all that serious of a problem in the grand scheme of things. Karen could have take the route of healthy living, focusing more on eating well and exercising. Today, there is the trend of leading women following that strategy. They have amazing bodies but are healthy. Karen was also relatively still young. She had at least another 10 years to have kids. She could have also adopted and been a wonderful mom. Finally, she had already achieved amazing success, enough to sit on her laurels and not worry about it anymore. Money would never be a problem and chart success was already achieved. She could have focsued on charitable work and performing for the fun of it. But unfortunately, she didn't have enough time to see the forest from the trees.
First off, despite the weight gain in the hospital, she must have been terrified of the prospect of gaining any more. Richard has commented that she still picked at her food. There is also the evidence that she was abusing ipecac. So weight gain must have been on her mind. She had the pressure to convey that she was cured but was desperately afraid of gaining weight. If she was eating normally, using ipecac, and still maintaining her 108 weight, I wonder if her metabolism had slowed down requiring the ipecac to stay steady.
She also desperately wanted children. But she was still married (almost divorced) and would have to start the whole process over again of finding a partner. All of her friends were married or in relationships and having children, she must felt anxiety to move forward as well. Today being 32 and unmarried is so common. But back in 1983, there was still a stigma around it. I recall the Mary Tyler Moore show, a #1 hit of the 1970's, was based on the storyline of a women being 30 and god forbid, unmarried. It wasn't that common back then. She had felt that pressure before to get married and have kids and made the unfortunate choice of Tom Burris. So I can't imagine 2 years after her first marriage, for the pressure to have lessened. It must have been on her mind.
Finally, there were career pressures. The Carpenters were not able to score a top 10 hit for 8 years. Nothing seemed to be sticking. This also must have been on her mind. She was ambitious and not the type to sit back and relish past successes.
In retrospect, none of the above was all that serious of a problem in the grand scheme of things. Karen could have take the route of healthy living, focusing more on eating well and exercising. Today, there is the trend of leading women following that strategy. They have amazing bodies but are healthy. Karen was also relatively still young. She had at least another 10 years to have kids. She could have also adopted and been a wonderful mom. Finally, she had already achieved amazing success, enough to sit on her laurels and not worry about it anymore. Money would never be a problem and chart success was already achieved. She could have focsued on charitable work and performing for the fun of it. But unfortunately, she didn't have enough time to see the forest from the trees.
Friday, May 17, 2013
The Solo Album and Karen's Changing Vocal Style
Die-hard Karen fans probably won't agree with my assessment of the solo album. I love Karen as much as anyone and I did enjoy her solo album. But I have to say that probably 95% of my listening of it in its entiretly took place in 1996 when it was released. There are some good songs no doubt. My favorites are Lovelines - which has a great funk kind sound to it. I also love Last One Singing the Blues which I think is a well-written song as well as well-performed by Karen. Others like My Body Keeps Changing my Mind, If I Had you, If We Try are also good. But I agree with what I had heard from Jerry Moss of A&M. It was good but there weren't any radio smash hits on it. Now mind you, not every song on an album has to be a hit. In fact, with rare exception, most albums have a 1-3 hits and the rest are filler (notable exceptions are the Carpenters Song For You and Beatles Abbey Road). But there isn't that one song on the solo album that as Richard once said is "irresistable to radio". I'm thinking of a song like Magic by Olivia Newton-John (from 1980); a song I would put on repeat 10 times in a row.
I also agree that this album didn't really showcase Karen's talent. It's not to say that it should have sounded like a Carpenter's album. But the quality that made Karen one of the greatest singers ever is not on this album. You don't get the sense that wow, I've never heard a voice like that. For example, with Close to You, For All you Know, Superstar, Only Yesterday, etc. etc., the magic and incredible talent and uniqueness of Karen are undeniable. Listening to Karen's solo album, I feel she is a good singer but not the greatest.
I agree with Richard, that Karen was singing too high on some songs like Remember When Loving Took All Night. Many have said that the anorexia affected the richness and timbre of her voice. But I also get the sense that Karen also was changing her singing style over the years deliberately. In one of the pre-Carpenter songs that Karen sang as a teenager called "And When I Die", Karen was a powerhouse. Karen in her early days had a huskier sound and it was clear she didn't like it. As the years progressed, she was trying to achieve a more delicate, feminine sound. Recall that she re-recorded songs for releases that originally were perfectly fine like Ticket to Ride, Merry Christmas Darling, and Top of the World. Comparing the originals to the newer re-recordings, you can clearly hear how she was trying to sound more delicate. I think as she got older especially on the solo album, she was trying to sound more and more light. But it was the depth that people loved about Karen's voice. Perhaps the anorexia also altered her voice. But I sense in Karen overall, a young women always striving to be more perfect even when she already was. It's a classic anorexic trait.
I also agree that this album didn't really showcase Karen's talent. It's not to say that it should have sounded like a Carpenter's album. But the quality that made Karen one of the greatest singers ever is not on this album. You don't get the sense that wow, I've never heard a voice like that. For example, with Close to You, For All you Know, Superstar, Only Yesterday, etc. etc., the magic and incredible talent and uniqueness of Karen are undeniable. Listening to Karen's solo album, I feel she is a good singer but not the greatest.
My favorite solo album song - Last One Singing the Blues
I agree with Richard, that Karen was singing too high on some songs like Remember When Loving Took All Night. Many have said that the anorexia affected the richness and timbre of her voice. But I also get the sense that Karen also was changing her singing style over the years deliberately. In one of the pre-Carpenter songs that Karen sang as a teenager called "And When I Die", Karen was a powerhouse. Karen in her early days had a huskier sound and it was clear she didn't like it. As the years progressed, she was trying to achieve a more delicate, feminine sound. Recall that she re-recorded songs for releases that originally were perfectly fine like Ticket to Ride, Merry Christmas Darling, and Top of the World. Comparing the originals to the newer re-recordings, you can clearly hear how she was trying to sound more delicate. I think as she got older especially on the solo album, she was trying to sound more and more light. But it was the depth that people loved about Karen's voice. Perhaps the anorexia also altered her voice. But I sense in Karen overall, a young women always striving to be more perfect even when she already was. It's a classic anorexic trait.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Was Karen Really Committed to Recovery in 1982?
One question that has crossed my mind was Karen's level of commitment to getting cured in 1982. My conjecture is that she knew she had some kind of problem and wanted to fix it to make her family happy but was persistently stubborn about being honest about the reasons for the disease. I don't think this was her fault but an attitude adopted by what her mother and brother led her to think. I believe her family had convinced her that anorexia wasn't a real disease and that she was simply stubborn. I think this did permanent damage to her ability to actually recover. You hear this in interviews of Agnes after Karen's death where she only focuses on Karen not eating. The problem was not about eating. Her problem was about self-worth in the eyes of her brother and mother.
Karen's problems with her self-image and self-worth were very serious. She couldn't let go of the submissive role she had in her family. Her mother is her mother so she must be right. She worshipped Richard so he must be right. I think she adopted their position that her problem was some silly thing she needed to snap herself out of. But it wasn't a silly thing.
So off she goes to New York seeking an antidote to magically make the problem go away. Steven Levenkron wasn't successful in getting her to realize that her family was plain wrong. Someone needed to get it into Karen that she had a mind of her own and her decisions and her needs and wants were 100% valid. I think Levenkron could have cut to the chase and got her to understand this. But instead, they probably went through endless exploratory sessions while Karen continued to put herself on a path of destruction with unhealthy behaviors.
The only person I think who probably came close to setting her straight was Phil Ramone who tried to take her into a diferent direction with her career. But at the end of day, Karen was a slave to her family (not the mirror as people often think with regards to anorexics). I wish Phil told her to f*** her family. She could love them but they are wrong. I wish Harold had more courage to stand up to his wife. It's clear that Agnes dominated everyone and was masking her own unhappiness.
At the end of day, Karen went to New York with an attitude to get some weight on and return back to her family where they were all waiting for her to resume their vision for her life. Intravenous feeding was the perfect solution for achieving that. She got the weight back on which equated to a cure to her mother. She didn't actually have to learn to believe in herself to stand up to her family.
I do think Karen wanted to stop the hell she was in. She was committed to fixing what was wrong but was completely misguided by her family on what to do to get better. If they had gotten off their high horse about controlling Karen to fit their needs, had shown her love and support, not make her think her disease was selfish, that Karen was stubborn ... if they had *supported* her and loved her in the all the normal ways love should be expressed, I have no doubt that she'd be alive today.
As I reflect on this, I realize this post contradicts a little my post defending Agnes. But at the end of the day, Karen needed to get the courage to overcome her mother's beliefs. As I've said before, there are lots of people who don't know what's best for us. Many of us have family members who may love us but are wrong. Growing up is about realizing you can love someone but not agree with them. It's too bad Karen couldn't get to this point.
Karen's problems with her self-image and self-worth were very serious. She couldn't let go of the submissive role she had in her family. Her mother is her mother so she must be right. She worshipped Richard so he must be right. I think she adopted their position that her problem was some silly thing she needed to snap herself out of. But it wasn't a silly thing.
So off she goes to New York seeking an antidote to magically make the problem go away. Steven Levenkron wasn't successful in getting her to realize that her family was plain wrong. Someone needed to get it into Karen that she had a mind of her own and her decisions and her needs and wants were 100% valid. I think Levenkron could have cut to the chase and got her to understand this. But instead, they probably went through endless exploratory sessions while Karen continued to put herself on a path of destruction with unhealthy behaviors.
The only person I think who probably came close to setting her straight was Phil Ramone who tried to take her into a diferent direction with her career. But at the end of day, Karen was a slave to her family (not the mirror as people often think with regards to anorexics). I wish Phil told her to f*** her family. She could love them but they are wrong. I wish Harold had more courage to stand up to his wife. It's clear that Agnes dominated everyone and was masking her own unhappiness.
At the end of day, Karen went to New York with an attitude to get some weight on and return back to her family where they were all waiting for her to resume their vision for her life. Intravenous feeding was the perfect solution for achieving that. She got the weight back on which equated to a cure to her mother. She didn't actually have to learn to believe in herself to stand up to her family.
I do think Karen wanted to stop the hell she was in. She was committed to fixing what was wrong but was completely misguided by her family on what to do to get better. If they had gotten off their high horse about controlling Karen to fit their needs, had shown her love and support, not make her think her disease was selfish, that Karen was stubborn ... if they had *supported* her and loved her in the all the normal ways love should be expressed, I have no doubt that she'd be alive today.
As I reflect on this, I realize this post contradicts a little my post defending Agnes. But at the end of the day, Karen needed to get the courage to overcome her mother's beliefs. As I've said before, there are lots of people who don't know what's best for us. Many of us have family members who may love us but are wrong. Growing up is about realizing you can love someone but not agree with them. It's too bad Karen couldn't get to this point.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Karen and Olivia Newton-John
It's well known that Olivia Newton-John was a friend of Karen's. I don't think they were super close compared to her other friends like Frenda Leffler and Karen 'Itchie' Ramone, but they were definitely friends. Randy Schmidt was able to interview Olivia for his 'Little Girl Blue' biography on Karen. But I was disappointed that Olivia didn't have anything very insightful to say. To me this is a reflection of a friendship but not a deep one between Olivia and Karen.
I often wonder if that friendship though did more harm than good for Karen. I believe Olivia is just as warm and genuine as she comes across in interviews. I'm sure she cared for Karen. But the problem is that I think Olivia embodied much of what Karen wanted in her own life with regards to Olivia's looks, 1980's success, branching into movie's and confidence.
On top of that, Olivia got the role in Grease! Karen was performing numbers from Grease in the Carpenters stage act years before Olivia was in the movie. Karen was very much familiar with the play and later movie. I can't help but think that Karen must have had twinges of jealously seeing Olivia in the skin tight black leather outfit, red lipstick, high heels, and coiffed hair. Karen would simply never have been able to look like that. Though she wanted to I'm sure.
Karen was a beautiful woman no doubt. However, she wasn't considered a bombshell, drop dead gorgeous woman like Olivia. Olivia was a few inches taller than Karen and had the build that Karen desperately wanted. Karen was a bit hippy and had broad shoulders. Even in her emaciated state, if Karen was fully covered, if you didn't look at her face, she deceptively looked healthy. Her body had a certain build so her hips were a certain way. There was no amount of dieting that would get rid of her bone structure. Whereas Olivia had that twig-like figure. Combine that figure with her blonde hair (long or short) and she was really a strikingly beautiful woman. From the average American vantage point, Olivia was more the hot sex symbol than Karen.
Olivia in Grease!
Then Olivia's absolutely smash album 'Physical' came out shortly after Made In America (which was a comparative flop sales-wise). It was a completely different album than MIA. It was much more contemporary, had more of an edge. The title song spent 10 weeks at #1. Olivia had follow-up top-5 hits with 'Make a Move on Me' and 'Heart Attack' (the later ironically came out around the time of Karen's death in 1983). While Karen was in New York in therapy in 1982, A&M released 'Beechwood' which barely cracked the top 100. Meanwhile, Olivia was enjoying tremendous success and touring the world.
I think Karen's voice was better than Olivia's, more distinctive. But as I've said before, Karen was also ambitious and competitive. There was likely apart of her that was envious of Olivia's looks and success. On the man front, Olivia seemed to have more confidence. She didn't land the kind of man Karen was looking for. Olivia's boyfriend Matt Latanzi was 10 years Olivia's junior and not anywhere near as successful as she. He was a dancer in Xanadu. So Karen probably wasn't envious of all aspects of her life. Olivia was a year older than Karen and one of just a few friends near her age that wasn't married and with a child or expecting one. So this probably gave one common thread for her to bond with Olivia on. But I think that common attribute was overshadowed by envy for Olivia's looks and continued success.
Interestingly, Olivia's success also came to end later in 1984 after her last Top 5 hit 'Twist of Fate'. Success doesn't last forever for anyone. But the fact that Olivia was seeing this early 80's success and the Carpenters hadn't seen a Top 10 hit since 1975's 'Only Yesterday' must have been a tough pill for Karen to swallow. The early 80's saw a slew of adult contemporary acts scoring #1's like Air Supply and Christopher Cross. The Carpenters couldn't find the right song. 'Touch Me When We're Dancing' was gorgeous but not a bona fide Top 10.
At the end of the day, as nice as Olivia seems to be, I just don't think the friendship was healthy for Karen. I think it created some jealousy for her. I don't believe this had any significant factor in Karen's demise but I think it was something that did cause frustration and added to the the anorexic behaviors that eventually killed her.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Herb Alpert and Karen
It is clear when watching interviews with Herb Alpert how devastated he is that Karen died. This is a wonderful interview of Herb done fairly recently in 2011. Watch around 5:10 into the video. Nearly 30 years after Karen's death, he still breaks down when talking about Karen.
I don't think he had romantic feelings for her ever but definitely loved her like a sister. Maybe he wonders if fame created too much pressure for Karen. I also wonder if he feels guilty about not encouraging her more with her solo album. He has said vaguely in other interviews about why it wasn't released "I don't recall why but I'm sure she wasn't too happy with it." Honestly, I don't think Herb liked it. Maybe he feels some guilt about that.
Also Herb was commenting on how great she looked shortly before she died. But from most accounts, especially Richard's on close-up she didn't look well at all. It's almost like his relationship with her was too business. Yes, technically he was her boss. But I get the sense that he could have stepped up on the personal side. Even Jerry Moss (whom I never got the sense liked the Carpenters music) was key in canceling the rest of their 1975 tour when seeing Karen's weight loss. It just seemed like Herb stayed away from that. He was their mentor and admired both Richard and Karen dearly. However, there was something on the personal side that when she was alive, I don't think he expressed to her ... not love in a romantic way but love, care and concern in a more personal way. I sometimes get the sense that he wished he could tell Karen how he felt about her or to try to help her.
I don't think he had romantic feelings for her ever but definitely loved her like a sister. Maybe he wonders if fame created too much pressure for Karen. I also wonder if he feels guilty about not encouraging her more with her solo album. He has said vaguely in other interviews about why it wasn't released "I don't recall why but I'm sure she wasn't too happy with it." Honestly, I don't think Herb liked it. Maybe he feels some guilt about that.
Also Herb was commenting on how great she looked shortly before she died. But from most accounts, especially Richard's on close-up she didn't look well at all. It's almost like his relationship with her was too business. Yes, technically he was her boss. But I get the sense that he could have stepped up on the personal side. Even Jerry Moss (whom I never got the sense liked the Carpenters music) was key in canceling the rest of their 1975 tour when seeing Karen's weight loss. It just seemed like Herb stayed away from that. He was their mentor and admired both Richard and Karen dearly. However, there was something on the personal side that when she was alive, I don't think he expressed to her ... not love in a romantic way but love, care and concern in a more personal way. I sometimes get the sense that he wished he could tell Karen how he felt about her or to try to help her.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Karen's selectivity regarding men: Reflecting on Mike Curb
Karen wanted to meet the perfect guy and unbelievably got exactly what she didn't want in Tom Burris (except for superficial good looks). She had a very clear, long list of qualities she wanted. Prior to Tom, there were many great men interested in Karen. Mike Curb I think was the most ideal. He clearly cared for her.
At the time Karen dated Mike, around 1973-74, Mike wasn't the huge success that he eventually became. I'm purely speculating, but I don't think his moderate success as part of the Mike Curb Congregation or as a producer, came anywhere near the mainstream success of the Carpenters. He was an exec at MGM, but some of that success hadn't quite emerged until after he and Karen broke up.
Mike gives the impression it was more about career obligations, that kept them apart. But I believe Karen was looking for a relationship and would have taken him more seriously if he had more success when she was with him. I recall Mike talking about trying to get her to eat on a date at Knotts Berry Farm, his visit to her at Lenox Hill in 1982, and his overall sentiment when speaking about Karen. He clearly cared for her.
With Curb Records especially, Mike achieved huge success, likely eclipsing Karen's earnings had she lived. But in the early 70's, I think she viewed him as one of those nice guys, more keen on her than she with him. I think he was of those good men she realized she let slip by once she was older.
Karen also mentioned in an interview shortly after her marriage that Tom was the first man whom she was instantly attracted to. Maybe she meant that to flatter Tom. It gave me the impression, that she wasn't taken with Mike when she was dating him.
I don't think Terry Ellis was right for her. He had the looks and success but not the down to earth qualities that she needed. So that was a good call even though Karen tried to reconcile with him later. Even with Tom, I feel that she wanted to almost will him into what she wanted him to be before they married. She saw his true colors, but instead of having the confidence to call off the wedding or end things sooner, she went back to the anorexia.
So much of Karen's life was wanting to be able to control circumstances. But such a big part of maturity is realizing that you simply can't control everything. She couldn't revisit the past. She couldn't get the exact man that she wanted. She couldn't make her mother express love the way she needed it. Unfortunately, she couldn't look at the side of her life that was working and figure out how to enjoy and appreciate what was in her control. As is said in the serenity prayer " God grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I don't think Karen was a particularly religious or even a spiritual person. She was never really at peace with herself. I just wish she had a little more time. She would have found that serenity eventually.
But, oh how I wish she would have continued to date Mike and married him. Mike moved on and married not long after he dated Karen and is still married to the same person so I'm sure he's happy. But I think it was in Karen's power to make something happen with him at one point. I think Mike would have married her and he would have loved her and she him. He seems like a supportive, caring person. I wish we had a time machine and could go back to 1974.
At the time Karen dated Mike, around 1973-74, Mike wasn't the huge success that he eventually became. I'm purely speculating, but I don't think his moderate success as part of the Mike Curb Congregation or as a producer, came anywhere near the mainstream success of the Carpenters. He was an exec at MGM, but some of that success hadn't quite emerged until after he and Karen broke up.
Mike gives the impression it was more about career obligations, that kept them apart. But I believe Karen was looking for a relationship and would have taken him more seriously if he had more success when she was with him. I recall Mike talking about trying to get her to eat on a date at Knotts Berry Farm, his visit to her at Lenox Hill in 1982, and his overall sentiment when speaking about Karen. He clearly cared for her.
With Curb Records especially, Mike achieved huge success, likely eclipsing Karen's earnings had she lived. But in the early 70's, I think she viewed him as one of those nice guys, more keen on her than she with him. I think he was of those good men she realized she let slip by once she was older.
Karen also mentioned in an interview shortly after her marriage that Tom was the first man whom she was instantly attracted to. Maybe she meant that to flatter Tom. It gave me the impression, that she wasn't taken with Mike when she was dating him.
I don't think Terry Ellis was right for her. He had the looks and success but not the down to earth qualities that she needed. So that was a good call even though Karen tried to reconcile with him later. Even with Tom, I feel that she wanted to almost will him into what she wanted him to be before they married. She saw his true colors, but instead of having the confidence to call off the wedding or end things sooner, she went back to the anorexia.
So much of Karen's life was wanting to be able to control circumstances. But such a big part of maturity is realizing that you simply can't control everything. She couldn't revisit the past. She couldn't get the exact man that she wanted. She couldn't make her mother express love the way she needed it. Unfortunately, she couldn't look at the side of her life that was working and figure out how to enjoy and appreciate what was in her control. As is said in the serenity prayer " God grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I don't think Karen was a particularly religious or even a spiritual person. She was never really at peace with herself. I just wish she had a little more time. She would have found that serenity eventually.
But, oh how I wish she would have continued to date Mike and married him. Mike moved on and married not long after he dated Karen and is still married to the same person so I'm sure he's happy. But I think it was in Karen's power to make something happen with him at one point. I think Mike would have married her and he would have loved her and she him. He seems like a supportive, caring person. I wish we had a time machine and could go back to 1974.
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