Ipecac

Of all the destructive behaviors of Karen, her use of Ipecac was the worst. This was probably the single most deadly item that she used. There's some debate whether she did in fact use it. Cherry Boone O'Neil confirmed it, and it showed up in the autopsy report.

It was rather unfortunate that the deadliness of ipecac was not publicly known in Karen's time. I don't think Karen would have gone near it if she knew it was literally eating her heart muscle. But the more disturbing part for me is how it actually feels to use ipecac.

I used it once to see what it was like even after knowing of the danger. This was in 1994 when it was still possible to easily obtain it from the drugstore.  For bingers, the binge you're in is always the last one. So I thought once wouldn't hurt.

I will tell you that it is the most godawful painful thing to take that stuff. The cramps are enormous. The taste is disgusting. It also doesn't just cause you to purge right away. You are just lying there in utter utter pain waiting for the work to be done.

I remember being curled up in pain on the bathroom floor and asking "Karen, you did this to yourself? Karen?"  I never went near ipecac again. Even if there were no long term effects, I would have never touched it again, because it was that horrible. The fact that dear Karen would endure this more than once is purely, and simply torture and breaks my heart.